The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
