Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I did not marry a roomba.
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