But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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