it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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