Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
