Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
The uberlube is also flammable
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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