Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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