Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
