you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
