what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
