Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i just wanna soil my oats bro
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Everyone says I win the strip club
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
