I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
