RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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