Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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