i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
