It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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