that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
