I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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