Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
