Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
