she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
