He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
