is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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