We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Randomize
