I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
