It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
