Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
