I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
