Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
