Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
