I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
