I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I just got carded by a ten year old.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
