apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
