did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
