I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
