Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
