you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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