She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
