dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
