guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
