I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
