Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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