You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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