The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
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