I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
