Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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