It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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