38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
