This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
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