i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
