my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
