I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
