i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
