She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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