maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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