I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
