Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
i think i just lost a toe
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize