All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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