I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
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