Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
