i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
