Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Randomize
