Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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