Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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