Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
