He asked me if I "almost moaned"
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
