I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize