Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
