Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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