Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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