you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
