if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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