We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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