I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize