i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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