I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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