I'm eating all of the evidence.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Randomize