bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
