Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Randomize
