I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
