i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
