I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
