You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
