I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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