You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
