For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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