Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Just took my morning after pill in the library
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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